


Denial

by Candycorn33



Series: ATEEZ and Their Midnight Coffee Race [3]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alpha Jeong Yunho, Alpha Jung Wooyoung, Alpha Kim Hongjoong, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cute Ending, Denial of Feelings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Independence, Jung Wooyoung is Whipped, M/M, Not Beta Read, Omega Choi San, Omega Song Mingi, Omegaverse, Soft Choi San, not beta read we die like men, omega park seongwha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:26:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23875414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Candycorn33/pseuds/Candycorn33
Summary: San gets into a argument with Jongho and it ends with him doubting and questioning himself, especially his love for a certain crack head.
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Series: ATEEZ and Their Midnight Coffee Race [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1681393
Comments: 6
Kudos: 129





	Denial

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, I´m back with another San and Wooyoung fic.  
> Hope you will like it ;)

San waits in the car for Yeosang to finish. Yeosang finishes his job at 4 in the morning and none of the boys wants Yeosang to walk home on his own and San volunteered to pick Yeosang up, so here he is sitting in a car at four in the morning, waiting for Yeosang.   
San taps his fingers against the steering wheel, he was not in the best mood today. Wooyoung has been fucking with his sanity and to say that San is annoyed would be an understatement. San praise himself for being independent, for not needing an alpha to complete him, for not needing love to be someone. San has always said that he hates love, has sworn that he would never be interested in being together with someone, not wanting a relationship, is something that has been kind of a trademark for San. San likes to say that he stands by his words, that he is never going to change for anyone, that he will never bend his head for someone, but Wooyoung is messing with him. Wooyoung makes him yearn for things that he should not be yearning for. Wooyoung is filling his mind and body with emotions that he does not like, emotions that he wont stand by and thoughts that he does not understand.   
He finds himself thinking of Wooyoung when he is watching bl dramas or anything that involves relationships, he finds himself wanting Wooyoung to persuade, to court him and make him his. Those thoughts are scary to San, they mean that he has to break away from the security of being independent, that he has to questions his definition of being independent and being himself.   
San has never held back, snapping back at anyone who tried to belittle him, questioning politicians and society, gaining a huge following on social media, for saying the things that people think, but doesn’t dare say. He fights for equality, but he still feels like loosing if he gives up and falls in love with Wooyoung.  
“What are you thinking about?” Yeosang asks, as he opens the door. “Nothing” San says.  
“Please, I could hear you thinking inside of the bar” Yeosang says, San biting his lip and starts the car and drives home.  
“San come on, what got you like this, you smell distressed?” Yeosang says and San glances over at him.  
“I don’t want to talk about it Sangie” San says and Yeosang hums but does not back down.  
“Come on San, you know you can tell us anything, no one will judge you” Yeosang says, putting a hand on San´s thigh.  
“Not now” San says sternly and Yeosang sighs.   
“Well just… at least speak to someone, whatever is making you this distressed is not just nothing” Yeosang says and San hums.  
“How was work?” San asks, smiling slightly.  
“Hmm pretty okay, a lot of drunk accidents and a pregnant woman who had a fit, but that was understandable, her husband was a dickhead, her words not mine” Yeosang says and San laughs.  
“What, did he do?” San asks.  
“He passed out when they were told that they were expecting twins and not just one” Yeosang says and San laughs.  
“I see” San says smiling and pulling up their driveway.  
\--  
San was throwing a fit, a real fit, yelling his lungs out at Jongho, giving the young man a piece of his mind.   
“NO!” San yells, his arms flying around as he is yelling, borderline screaming.  
“FUCK YOU, YOU ONLY THINK ABOUT YOU AND YOUR FUCKING IMAGE!” Jongho yells back, his eyes having turned red and claws having come out.  
“EXCUSE ME! I DON´T NEED A FUCKING ALPHA TO TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD AND SHOULDN´T DO. IF YOU WANT SOMEONE TO DO SOMETHING FOR YOU, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN´T BE ACTING LIKE A FUCKING MORON WHO THINKS THAT HE IS ENTITLED TO SHIT” San is fuming, if it was possible for fire to come out of someone, than San would have burned the entire place down.  
“MAYBE YOU SHOULDN´T BE SUCH A UP TIGHT BITCH, WHO IS ACTING SUPERIOR TO EVERYONE ELSE, BECAUSE YOU NEED NO ALPHA, BULLSHIT!” Jongho yells pointing at San.  
“I DON´T NEED ONE, THAT IS MY DECISION AND I HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT TO MAKE THAT, YOU NEED TO GET THE FACT, THAT EVERYONE DOESN´T NEED TO BOW DOWN FOR BIG UGLY ALPHAS LIKE YOU THROUGH YOUR THICK AND FUCKING STUPID HEAD” San says, his tail flicking angrily behind him.  
“YOU ARE JUST SAYING THAT, BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW THAT YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW TO ACT LIKE A GOOD FUCKING OMEGA AND NO ALPHA WOULD EVER WANT THAT” Jongho yells, his alpha voice booming through the room.  
“JONGHO STOP!” Hongjoong yells.  
“NO, IT IS THE FUCKING THRUTH, WE ALL KNOW THAT HE IS JUST ACTING ALL HIGH AND MIGHTY, BECAUSE HE CAN´T GET AN ALPHA INTO HIS BED!” Jongho says and San stops, taking a step back.  
San eyes Jongho and leaves. San walks out of the house, slamming the door shut behind him. Seongwha runs after San but San is already gone, having shifted, and run into the forest, ignoring Seongwha´s cries.  
Seongwha quickly shifts into his wolf form and tries to track San down, but San is fast and agile, getting a good head start, but he doesn´t know the forest as well as Seongwha and Seongwha uses that to his advantage.   
San leaps over a river and unto a clearing, his paws moving his body fast over the ground and away from the house, away from facing his own fears and rage.   
San looks around and decides to jump unto a big stone that is warm from the sun. San lays down, stretching his body and getting comfortable, trying to calm down his body. San listens to the water in the river moving, hitting against stones and the river edge, sticks and stones breaking the water and small fish swimming against the current.   
San moves his head, looking at Seongwha as he leaps over the river and looks at San laying on top of the stone. Seongwha walks over and cuddles up besides San, not transforming back into his human shape, knowing that San prefers quietness when he is angry or hurt.  
The two lays in the sun, falling asleep by each other´s sides.   
Hongjoong shakes his head as he looks at his mate and pack member sleep by each other´s side. Hongjoong had gotten worried when hours passed by and neither of them showed up, so he decided to go looking. Everyone had been out of it, Wooyoung had practically torn Jongho apart, he probably would have, if it hadn´t been for Yunho and Mingi who stopped him. Hongjoong had taken a stern talk, or more an angry, stern, and disciplinary monologue in front of Jongho.   
Hongjoong does not accept the kind of behavior that Jongho showed. Hongjoong is aware that Jongho just having presented the same day, caused hormones to rage inside of his body, but that is not an excuse and it does not justify what Jongho said to San, especially not after he himself caused it, by trying to command San to do something by using his alpha voice. San had practically thrown a knife at Jongho´s head, the second he had used it against him, San had been calm enough for a second to put the knife down, but San went into a fit as Jongho tried to command him to do simple things for him, several times. 

Hongjoong look at Wooyoung whose eyes practically looks heart shaped as he looks at a sleeping San laying in the late afternoon sun.   
“Go wake him up” Hongjoong says over their bond and Wooyoung taps from one paw to another before silently walking over and nodging to San.  
Seongwha rolls over growling at being woken up, by Wooyoung trying to wake San up. Hongjoong calms him down, licking him and Seongwha glares at Wooyoung for a second before turning his attention towards Hongjoong.  
San snuggles up against Wooyoung´s warmth.  
“Sannie” Wooyoung tries and San yawns and looks up at Wooyoung, his tail flopping behind him.   
“Kitten” Wooyoung says and San eyes Wooyoung before slipping out under him, stretching his body. His spine growing long as he stretches, yawning ones more.  
San practically pouts as he remembers what happens, but tries to push it down as he looks at the ones he loves and cares for, the ones he knows wont judge him for who he is.   
“How are you feeling?” Hongjoong asks and San starts walking around a little, walking over to look into the river.  
“Fine” San says and Hongjoong shares a look with Seonghwa who nods.   
San usually opens up after having slept a little, but what Jongho said, yelled at him, clearly hit home.  
Wooyoung pats over and sits down besides San, leaning a little to nudge at San, but San doesn´t budge.  
Wooyoung looks into the water like San and notices that San´s eyes are trailing a fish. Wooyoung lifts himself up a little, eyeing the fish, studying its movements, anticipating were it will be and pounce on it, his jaw locking around the fish. Wooyoung fumbles around gracefully as his head is underwater. Wooyoung pulls his head up from the water and turns around looking at San with big eyes and a fish in his mouth.  
If San could laugh as a cheetah he would, because the picture of Wooyoung drenched, water dripping from his fur, big eyes, stupid grin and a fish in his mouth, is adorable and heart warming and stupid.   
San smiles leaping from the ground and unto Wooyoung, Wooyoung letting the fish go. San engange in a play fight with Wooyoung and snaps out at his tail. Wooyoung yelps and spins around, ready to play fight with San. The two fools around in the water, Wooyoung and San rolling around, splashing water at each other and nipping on each other´s tails, jumping on top of each other and just having warm, in the river warmed by the sun.  
Hongjoong and Seongwha has gone back on top of the stone, the two cuddled up as they watch Wooyoung curing San´s mood and healing him slowly, making San forget his worries.   
Hongjoong and Seongwha are aware of some of San´s struggles and insecurities, but San can be reserved, so they don´t know the full extend, but as San´s pack alpha and omega and friends and family, the two will do anything to protect him, both from himself and the world.   
\--  
San walks out from the shower, phone in hand. San looks around and decides to walk over to Mingi´s room.   
San knocks on Mingi´s door and the door is opened by Mingi who is smiling at him, San can smell Yunho and sighs internally.  
“Hey! Come in” Mingi says happiliy.   
“Eh, no, I just wanted to ask if you eh, wanted to go for a run tomorrow” San says, scratching the back of his head.  
“Sure” Mingi says brightly, but pulls San in, knowing that San is trying to lie and run away.  
San follows Mingi inside and Mingi shuts the door behind them.  
“Hey Sannie” Yunho says from the bed and scoots over to make space for San. San looks between them.   
“Come on, we were just watching the new ep of My Engineer” Mingi says and San´s tail stands interested at the mention of one of his favorite shows.  
“Want to watch it together with us?” Yunho asks and San bites his lip, looking between the two. Mingi throws himself on the bed and makes space between him and Yunho, knowing that San craves warmth and loves attention.  
San sighs and crawls up between them. They get comfortable and Mingi starts the show.   
“Do you ever feel like a burden to each other?” San asks quietly. Yunho looks over at Mingi and the two shares a worried and sad look before looking down at each other.  
“I wouldn´t say a burden, but there are some personal things that sometimes comes between the intention we have and the things we express” Yunho says and San hums.  
“Hmm you know how I felt about my body and not being a traditional omega, but talking it out with Mingi helped, it is nice to have someone who tries to understand one for one self, plus it also makes it easier, because when I am acting out because I´m feeling insecure, than Yunho is aware and that I´m not being angry because of him, but because of myself” Mingi says and San nods.  
“Do you… d-do your thinkg Jongho was right?” San asks, tears in his eyes and he pulls the comforter closer to him.  
“There are some alphas who will not be able to handle you, sure, but that is no matter how sweet or angry you are. Some people simply aren´t meant together. If an alpha doesn´t want to be with you, because you stand by what you believe in, then he or she isn´t right for you, whoever you decide is worth you and your time and who makes you feel loved, is the one who should ask, what other people says doesn’t matter” Yunho says.  
“But you wouldn´t even be with me, right?” San asks and Yunho smiles at him.  
“You have no idea” Mingi mumbles.  
“San I cross mountains and oceans for you, but I know that there is someone else out there who is a better match for you then I.” Yunho says and San huffs.  
“That´s the same as no” San pouts and Yunho shakes his head.  
“No, but I´m sure that you yourself know that there is someone else, someone who makes you question things that no one else has before” Yunho says, running his fingers through San´s hair.  
“It is so fucking frustrating” San says and Mingi chuckles.  
“Tell me about it, but you told me that I´m beautiful and good enough for Yunho´s love and let me tell you the same. San you are amazing and you deserve love and loving someone doesn´t make you weak or less independent, there is strength in opening up and trusting someone and knowing that they trust you just as much” Mingi says and Yunho nods.  
“I don´t know, I always said that I don´t want love” San says.  
“Because you were scared about baring yourself to someone and them then dismissing you” Mingi says and San looks up at him with tears in their eyes.  
“It is scary, horrifying even, I know, but it takes strength to bare yourself like that and when they accept and love you for who you are, well there is no feeling like that” Mingi says, remembering Yunho´s reaction when he first saw Mingi in a skirt and heels.  
“And maybe you aren´t the only one who has things that they are worried about and embarrassed about. Alphas have insecurities too and I´m sure that whoever you are thinking about isn’t as confident as you think” Yunho says and San makes a tsh sound.  
“I don’t think I know anyone as confident as them” San says.  
“You seem confident too and you have a lot fooled, maybe they do too” Mingi says and San narrows his eyes.  
“No, they are the embodiment of perfection, no way in hell they will have anything to be embarrassed about” San says.  
“You won´t know unless you talk to them” Mingi says and San sniffs.  
“It could ruin everything” San says and Yunho smiles at San warmly.  
“But it could also make everything so much better” Mingi says and San nods reluctantly.  
“Yeah but that probably wouldn´t happen” San says, huffing and turning under the covers.  
“You have to try San, sure they might be making you question your sanity, but sometimes that is a good thing, because it can make you turn into a better person” Yunho says.  
“No, because my morality and beliefs are what makes me me” San says.  
“But they can change. Knowledge and experiences changes are views and sometimes opinions and you should know that better than anyone” Mingi says and San glares at him.  
“Don´t use my blog against me” San says.  
“You even tell other people on your blog to persue the ones that they love, as long as it is not toxic of course” Mingi shoots back and San huffs.  
“Entirely different matter” San says.  
“No it is not. The only difference is that you actually have to do something that you are uncomfortable with” Mingi says and San glares at him.  
“Yup, I shouldn’t have to be uncomfortable” Snan says crossing his arms.  
“Everyone is the first time, it is unknown and rocky ground and no one likes that, but San, the ground won´t become familiar nor steady if you don´t try to do something about it” Yunho says.  
“W-what if he, I mean they, doesn’t want me” San says, his eyes are big, as big as they can get, and teary.  
“There is no way in hell, Woo, I mean they won´t want you” Mingi says teasing and San slaps him.  
“It is NOT Woo!!” San states, obviously and incredible lie.  
“Yunho help me out here” Mingi cries as San slaps him and Yunho laughs.  
“San” Yunho says and San looks at him.  
“Woo has his worries too. Woo isn´t your typical alpha, he likes makeup, chokers, nice clothes, he is loud and kind, he is beautiful, we can all agree on that, but that usually isn´t what defines an alpha, that can´t be easy either.” Yunho says and San bites his lip, thinking about what Yunho says and he is right.   
San remembers the first time he met Wooyoung. Seongwha had dragged San over on a Friday and Wooyoung had apparently decided to go partying on a Thursday and was coming home as San and Seongwha arrived.  
Wooyoung had been looking like a sex God, at least in San´s eyes. The tussled bleached air, the smoky and sultry makeup, the jewelry, the incredible figure thigh hugging leather jeans, his tired smirk, Wooyoung had been the embodiment of Sex and San had been flustered and shocked, because he never thought he would like that, when he saw someone, coming home from a night partying. Wooyoung then showering and getting into a pair of blue jeans, a white t-shirt and some jewelry, boy does Wooyoung love jewelry. He had barely known Wooyoung and San was intrigued. He first thought that he was interested in an omega, because of how beautiful Wooyoung looked, both with and without makeup. Then he had smelled Wooyoung and gotten a closer look and Wooyoung just screamed Alpha, but not the kind that made San puke or uncomfortable. No, San was interested, especially by the soft eyes and velvety voice of Jung Wooyoung. Then Wooyoung had shown just how loud he was and pulled San along with his antics, which just made San fall harder for the boy, but he loved being with Wooyoung. Wooyoung was everything and something more. Wooyoung is opinionated but can back down and apologies. He is loud but can be serious. He is kind and shows empathy in stead of sympathy. He is playful but doesn´t push it. He is annoying, but endearing. San just loves verything about Wooyoung, especially because he can be calm and himself around Wooyoung, he knows he doesn´t need to be loud nor quiet for Wooyoung to be with him. Wooyoung makes San feel safe, except when it comes to San´s feelings alone, because Wooyoung prods, kicks and pushes at then, taunting San with his beautiful smile and low grumbles in the morning.  
“Why don´t you go sleep with him?” Mingi asks as San yawns, it had been a long day.  
“HUH!” San looks at him with huge eyes and red cheeks.  
“Not like that you pervert” Mingi says laughing and San glares at him.  
“I don´t know what you are talking about” San says looking away and blushing madly.  
“Go get Shiber and then get your man” Mingi says and San slaps his leg.  
“He is more like a loud little puppy then a man” Yunho says and San nods.  
“Now go get him tiger” Yunho says.  
“I´m not a tiger” San says crawling out of bed.   
“Obviously not you are a scared little house cat” Mingi says and San glares at him as he walks out of the room.

San stands in front of Wooyoung´s room with Shiber in hands. San tries to come up with an explanation, but then he tells himself, that he needs no reason, he is Wooyoung´s best friend, so he can come whenever he wants.  
San opens the door and notices that it is dark in the room, only lit by few fairy lights. San pats over and sees Wooyoung silently listening to music with air pods in. San crawls unto the bed and Wooyoung turns his head looking at San in the dimly lit room.   
San lays his head on Wooyoung´s thighs and Wooyoung runs his fingers through San´s hair. San and Wooyoung sits in silence, San purring in content and Wooyoung plays with his hair.   
San looks up at Wooyoung who has his eyes closed looking relaxed, almost as if he couldn´t be safer and calmer. San loves this look on Wooyoung, he isn´t putting on a mask, to seem untouchable, like he is the loudest sassiest guy on the planet. Wooyoung is if you ask San though, but there is just something different, something warm about seeing Wooyoung so calm around him, so safe.   
San lifts his hand to Wooyoung´s cheek and touches it gently almost as if he were touching a butterfly’s wing and scared of breaking it. Wooyoung opens his eyes and looks down at San, a small and warm smile on his lips.   
San can feel the pull, the want to kiss Wooyoung, because of how much Wooyoung means to him, how much he cares about it, but he is scared, scared that he will ruin it.  
Woooyoung and San just looks at each other, Wooyoung not wanting to do something that could spook San and cause him to scratch him or run away.  
San leans up and kisses Wooyoung. Wooyoung is shocked for a second, but kisses back, not wanting to miss out on the opportunity to kiss San.   
San blinks a couple times as he pulls away, blushing madly. San looks away, his cheeks red and he doesn´t know how to act, because he has never been in a situation like this before.  
“San?” Wooyoung asks as he takes his air pods out.   
“Sorry, I´m so sorry” San says and Wooyoung smiles at him.  
“What are you appologising for?” Wooyoung asks and San just stares at him.  
“Are you acting dumb?” San asks, practically facepalming and Wooyoung chuckles.  
“No, but you are apologizing without a reason, you didn´t do anything wrong and if you did, I would have pushed you away” Wooyoung says.  
San just stares at Wooyoung again, opening and closing his mouth, unsure of what to make os Wooyoung´s sentence.  
“Kiss me again” Wooyoung says.  
“Huh?” San asks dumbfounded.  
“I said, kiss.me.again” Wooyoung says and San moves slowly, almost as if his brain can´t keep up.  
“Can I kiss you?” Wooyoung asks and San nods.   
Wooyoung chuckles and kisses San. San melts into the kiss, his shoulders relaxing as he kisses with Wooyoung, Wooyoung touching him lightly, buy a little firm, as if scared to make him run away but also scared that he will run away.   
Wooyoung leans back. “Alright?” Wooyoung asks San and San hums and kisses Wooyoung. Wooyoung happily kiss back, unsure if he is dreaming and if he is dreaming then it is a sweet but oh so cruel dream.   
San crawls into Wooyoung´s lap, his thighs on either side of Wooyoung´s, arms wrapped around his neck, resting on his shoulders. Wooyoung´s hands rest on San´s hips, fingers holding him close.   
San and Wooyoung kisses, no one talking, not wanting to break the comfortable silence between them.

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaaaand that was it:)  
> I hope you liked it, I know there was angst, but I think San and Wooyoung made up for it.
> 
> Until next time ;)


End file.
